Peter Orosz

I know little more about movies than about the internal politics of Lesotho, so the first time I saw David Carradine on screen was in Kill Bill. And it took a single split-second screen in Volume 2 to convince me that the man has style. Why? Because as Bill, he drives to the high desert in a De Tomaso Mangusta.

An unreliable rustbucket if ever there was one, it had horrible weight distribution—but also drop-dead gorgeous sneaky shark-like Giugiaro looks, a gullwing engine cover and a big hunk of American iron.

So it was a shame to hear that Carradine managed to off himself in a goddamn hotel room with a rope between his dick and his neck. What a ridiculous way to go. Although Carradine is perhaps the only man who can make it look cool.

In any case, I teamed up with my old posse Daniel at Index Video and proceeded to jack off in the closet with a silken Italian tie around my neck. All in the name of science, of course, as I describe the inherent dangers of masturbating in such a fashion. If you understand the Moon language I call home, enjoy: